it's okay to not be okay.

Lately I cannot even begin to formulate words to express the millions of mixed emotions, feelings and insecurities that have seemed to find a home in my brain.

Where to begin? I'm not quite sure. I feel as if I don't ever even have to just think and I am robbed of "me" time, which I'm coming to learn is very important for my sanity. I get anxious, annoyed, frustrated and worried easily yet at the same time I'm careless, confused and emotionless. It's weird, let me tell ya! I have so much I want to say, but just can't seem to say it. Hoping I get out of this funk sooooon.

In the meantime, enjoy this horrible quality photo of my family whom I love.

xoxo,

Linds

All Things October

 "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers"

-L.M. Montgomery; Anne of Green Gables

Usually I hate Halloween. Buuutttt this year I am eating it up! (literally, so much candy) Maybe it's because I live in a house with five kids who, every morning wake up and say "only _ days til Halloween!" with a smile on their face (like it's christmas or something) or maybe it's because I live in a small town, nestled in the Utah mountains where everywhere I look the leaves are bright orange and red and yellow or maybe, just maybe I've had a change of heart! I've always loved Fall. It's the best time of the year, for sure. This year I'm actually getting into the spirit of Halloween as well.

So here's to celebrating Autumn with haunted houses, pumpkin picking & pumpkin carving, lots of homemade soups, fireplace crackling in the mornings, sweaters and boots every day, a Hocus Pocus movie night, bonfires and eating handfuls of caramel. It's the greatest season of all seasons

 

I never did get around to making/eating my mom's ghost sugar cookies. They're my fave. Just look at this batch from a couple years back and try to tell me your mouth doesn't water a little bit! I love baking, especially when it's chilly outside..I just feel like I have no time! Maybeee I can bribe my mom into making turkey cookies instead of ghost for Thanksgiving ? (that just sounds so wrong) Let's pray the snow doesn't stick and we can enjoy Fall for a little longer. I still have more items to cross off on my fall bucket list..so welcome November! 

xoxo,

Linds

It's October, therefore a pumpkin recipe is mandatory ?

Pumpkin flavored everything has seemed to take over!! {and I'm not complaining} If you're on pinterest, you've probably seen this recipe floating around but if not, I am about to make your day and share with you how to make the world's EASIEST pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. And for the record, my momma's been whipping up these bad boys wayyy before pinterest was even a thing. They have always been one of my favorite "October" cookies.

the recipe:

1 box of spice cake mix

1 can of Libby's pure pumpkin (15 oz.)

1 bag of semi-sweet mini chocolate chips (because miniature makes everything better, right?!)

^^you can also add anything else that sounds good..white chocolate chips like me, walnuts, crushed oreos etc. the possibilities are endless!^^

Mix ingredients all together and viola! You have yourself some cookie dough! The best part is that there are no raw eggs in it so you can eat all the dough you want! (not like raw egg has ever stopped me from ever eating cookie dough...oops #cookiedoughaddict)

These cookies do not flatten in the oven so pat them down with a cup or spoon for desired shape, pop them in for 8-10 minutes at 350 degrees and then go ahead, devour 5 or 6 in a sitting. No judgement. 

If you're like me, you'll completely forget to take pictures of the whole "cookie making process" for the blog. I should've taken pictures of all the fingers in the mixing bowl sneaking some dough. That's what happens when you bake on a Sunday afternoon in a full house! And if you're reallyyyy like me, you won't be able to just toss the rest of the canned pumpkin so you'll attempt whip up yet another recipe..this time my Aunt Shirlene's. Her's are the lighter colored ones.

And what do you do when you end up with roughly 8 dozen cookies? Package them up cute {not pictured}, write a little letter and send them to your missionary friends! At least that's what I did. Not to mention, there were plentyyyy of people at my aunt & uncles house on Sunday that were more than willing to devour them.

^^also got to see my mom this weekend up in Idaho. Always great. Love that lady!^^ *helllooooo crappy quality picture. I really need to be better at lugging my camera around. When will I learn?

xoxo,

Linds

Back & tan..just in time for snow

8 people. 15 passenger seat van. Food poisoning {curse you husky burgers}. Poolside playing every morning. Beached it every afternoon. Surf lessons. Still figuring out what the fox says. Endless rounds of "telephone" and hand games. Movie nights. The best tacos I've ever put in my mouth from Chronic Tacos. Avoiding stepping on cracks. Daily fish feeding. Jelly belly's & twizzlers galore. Sharing a room with kicking//sleep talking little girls. Ruby's Diner. Indoor Trampoline place. San Diego Zoo--wildlife park. Cali was an adventure, to say the least! A fun one though!

 {andddd let the artsy wall photos begin..}

 One final picture to express how we all felt by the end of the trip. Total exhaustion..but had a blast! Love that sweet Lilly Bug.

xoxo,

Linds

california dreamin'

Brb. I'll be in SoCal for the next week and a half livin' the life. Leaving all forms of technology behind..well, except my phone--not tryin' to be Amish here. It's snowing outside right now so hasta la vista Utah! Be back soon.

xoxo,

Linds

Sunday Thoughts.

xoxo,

Linds

Life Lately

1. I'm a list maker. You should take a quick peek at my "notes" on my phone. Chalked FULL of lists..or maybe don't cause I'll tell ya, it's actually kind of overwhelming. An organized mess that only makes sense to me? That it is. (See? I'm even making a list right now)

2. I am so so so excited for Fall to arrive! The leaves are just starting to change colors in the mountains and I am thrilled about it. The only thing that would make the changing season better is if I actually had friends here to celebrate it with me .. #lonerprobz

3. I miss my camera terribly. I think I left it at Stephen and Rachel's ? Or it is possibly in Idaho? Having all my belongings spread out everywhere is starting to drive me crazy.

4. So, like I'm actually in love with a puppy. I named her Harlow and I go out to the barn all the time to see her and well, we bonded. I'm dreading the day (next week) when she has to board a plane and move to Arizona to live with her new family. She can't possibly live a better life without me in it, am I right?! I'm dying. She's perfect and um, did I mention I am in love with her?

5. I spent my Sunday afternoon making recipe cards. Call me old fashioned, but there's something special about having a box of handwritten recipes. Cook books are also kinda my thing. The only items I've asked to inherit one day are all of my grandmother's old cookbooks. Slightly obsessed.

6. Fun fact about me: I am absolutely terrified of chickens. I won't even go near them. They are evil, little devilish creatures with beady eyes who have a desire to peck me to death, I just know it. I can't even go out back to clean out their water/food dish..so I made a 7 year old do it today. She's braver than me..sad.

7. Watched "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" and am currently in the middle of doing a juice fast//cleanse//detox (whatever you want to call it) with Katie and Dean. It's hard. All I want is California Pizza Kitchen and cookie dough.

8. Sometimes when I need to get out of the house, I go for a run..and somehow end up finding myself lost on a beautiful road after taking a wrong turn. Heber is a gorgeous place to live.

9. Maybe this whole "all my friend's are leaving me for 18 months" thing isn't so bad after all. I LOVE Monday's now (because that's the day I get emails!), receiving letters is fun and I always look forward to getting the mail andddd by always writing them, it's forcing me to be a better journal keeper. I mean, it still sucks..but there's SOME perks :)

10. I have nothing else to add, but it felt weird ending on 9. 

xoxo,

Linds

And take 17!

Last Wednesday I went and picked up the newly set apart Sister Ramsey from the airport and took her to the MTC so that she could begin her missionary service in Twin Falls, Idaho. I was HONORED that she asked me to do it..considering she has so many loved ones and friends out here in Utah. I love this girl SO MUCH and am beyond proud of her. {Of Kels, Beth and Vannah too who are all making the decision to serve} I could go on and on saying good things about this one. Not only is she beautiful inside and out, but has been such an amazing friend to me over the years. I am a lucky girl to be surrounded by such strength. I have the most loyal, supportive and faithful group of girlfriends and I count my blessings daily. I am grateful and super stoked for the sweetest of reunions that will take place roughly 18 months from now. Until then, I am continuing to be the best letter writer ever.

 

  

 

You'd think we'd have posing for pictures downnn by now, but who are we trying to kid? After a million tries and a lot of great candids, we finally got an instagram-worthy shot. #success.

A note to add: the whole "sidewalk drop off" thing at the MTC is thaaa worsttt. I was totally fine, and then all of a sudden I had to give her a hug and just say goodbye ? That's when the water works began to flow. For the both of us. Terrible, I tell ya! So obviously I treated myself to a green tea frapp from Starbucks and spent the rest of the day running some much needed errands to cheer me up.

xoxo,

Linds

Time.

"Spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people..."

--The Breakfast Club

**I'm on an 80's movie kick as of late and finally watched this classic Friday night! (Big shout out to Netflix, my bed and no social life.) Funny to think that now if the same scenario were to take place, we'd all just be silently texting on our cell phones, away from the world and never befriend one another. I'm trying my best to be conscious of that, not be so "digitally distracted" and live in the moment! I think I was born in the wrong decade. ;)

xoxo,

Linds

Tid Bits

Guyssss I know, I know..I've totally slacked when it comes to posting "tid bits" every Thursday. But hey? I'm only human! ;)

Couldn't resist posting another picture with this cute girl! We had a photo shoot to keep us entertained while we waited for everyone else at the beach. And my hair looks so much blonder than usual ? Looovee them natural summer highlights.

And while I'm still on the Bear Lake kick, here's another of tubing. This time one of me, Mike and Rachel. My toes mayyy have actually bled from this run (ok yeah, they did.)

A box of the sweetest, most delicious peaches were delivered to the house. No other state has anything on Utah peaches..the best of the best.

And for a week straight, we ate peach after peach. Hot cereal with fresh fruit and crushed walnuts eaten on the deck Saturday morning? Perfection.

Speaking of perfection, having a dog to run with is my absolute favorite. Piper is such a sweetie and never made me feel bad when I had to walk instead of run...which may happen more often than I'd like to admit. #altitudeiskillingme #outofshape

It's a good night when you come home to Chinese food waiting on the table and an even better fortune to go along with that. Now I just need to figure out what those chances I'm taking are!

Spent a night listening to music while writing letters and putting together packages for my missionary friends. Cause ya know, "I'm not like one of those regular friends, I'm a cool friend!" (I try to incorporate Mean Girls quotes into my daily language..it's fine.)

Helloooo WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT 33 CENT COOKIES AT MCDONALDS?! (Or 3 for a dollar..cause that's how I roll) For like a week straight, I was cravinggg a chocolate chip cookie. One night I was driving home and wanted something sweet..there was a McDonald's on my right and Wendy's on my left. McFlurry vs. Frosty. Mickey D won the internal battle (because we all know had I gotten a frosty, I would've felt the need to also get fries.) I knew I made the right choice when I saw "hot, chocolate chip cookies" on the menu! Umm what?! I ordered two and a kids' size jug of milk. Don't judge me. And the menu did not lie; they were hot AND fresh and melt in your mouth, so amazingly perfect.

Babiez and puppiezzz = my life. And I am not complaining. Like seriously? The cutest..every girl's dream combo.

xoxo,

Linds

Progression.

We all have challenges and trials..they are a part of life, but I know that our Father in Heaven and Savior not only understands but obtains the ability to help us, to uplift us, to fight for us and to encourage us to realize our greatest potential. This is kind of a new (to me) concept that I'm finally beginning to accept. I have so much to be grateful for. I know that and am doing my best to recognize those things.

Dwelling on the past as well as the "what if's" and "what if not's" of the future is not helping me progress. A few months ago when asked the question to describe himself in one word, my friend processed it and replied "progressing." I didn't think much of it then but have thought about that response quite often lately. We can ALWAYS be better. For him to be able to confidently say that is something that I desire. Every day is a new day and in order for me to progress in different aspects of my life, I first must be happy with my life. Waiting around for something or someONE to make me happy is not the key to solve my problems.

"If the foundation of faith is not embedded in our hearts, the power to endure will crumble." Remain strong. Remain faithful. The Lord has a plan and everything will work out. Hard times and struggles will always be evident in this life but we do not have to endure them alone. Christ is anxiously awaiting to answer our prayers and give us the strength we need but He cannot do that unless we ask for help. That is something that I am consistently reminding myself. I am not alone. Nobody has to be alone.

I absolutely L O V E D this talk of President Eyring's:: "If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing...We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord's service because we never are. The Savior has promised angels on our left and our right to bear us up. And He always keeps His word."

"Even acting on a twig of faith allows God to grow it" --And I am so very grateful for that.

xoxo,

Linds

Gang Signs & Babies

First of all, Bear Lake is BEAUTIFUL. The crisp water is this gorgeous shade of bright blue that I cannot even begin to describe (and you can't see cause the pictures are in b&w. hah) The Bigelow fam has a house up there so we went for the long weekend and it was so much fun. Despite fearing for my life and almost dying with Rach, tubing behind a boat will forever be one of my very favorite activities. Time was spent boating, playing in the water & sand, lots of kiddos running around, cooking, baking {peach cobbler with the besttttt peaches} which resulted in toooo much eating, playing games and sharing a bed with Ava..which is an experience on its own. I'm so lucky to have been able to go up with the Schmidt clan; their whole extended family is so good to me and makes me feel part of the fam! And I got to see my brother too soooo win, win :) And don't even ask why I decided to throw up some gang signs when Maddy snapped the pic. It's just what I do. Also, is that not the most adorable little girl you've ever seen?? She is the sweetest lil thing.

xoxo,

Linds

Tid Bits

Took the kids to get sno cones to enjoy one of the last days of summer. It ended up a sugary sticky mess..but so worth it.

When mama comes to town, we always eat good. Thai food was chosen for dinner and you bet sweet coconut sticky rice with sliced mango was ordered for dessert. So freaking good.

These boys love going for a ride during my morning jog. And I love getting out of the house to enjoy the crisp morning air for a little while each day.

HOW ADORABLE IS THIS LITTLE BOY?! he never snuggles me and when he does it's just the cutest and my favorite.

Best friend came to town for a few days to say goodbye to Beth!!!!!! Always the best time when we're all together-so happy she came. And we ran into Jordan Hess in Provo? Super random.

Had to say goodbye to this beauty. Beth was my first friend when I moved to Florida EIGHT years ago and left this week to go serve a mission in Boise, Idaho. We have made countless memories together and I'm excited for this new chapter & adventure in her life. I'm so proud and know she'll do great things..and I may or may not have already written her twice (she's been gone 33 hours. this is gonna be a long 18 months....)

xoxo,

Linds

Sunday Stroll

Today was a perfect day for sitting, talking and walking around the temple grounds..so I picked Beth up and we did just that. What we didn't realize was that there would also be hundreds of missionaries from the MTC across the street who also get to go walk around on Sunday afternoons. We ended up seeing a lot of familiar faces and even ran into Austin Tautu (demonstrating the classic missionary "handshake" picture) Can't believe Bethy will be off to serve as a sister missionary THIS Wednesday. Then Lauren, then Savannah leave..gonna go cry myself to sleep about that now. K bye.

xoxo,

Linds

Final Florida Dayzz

The last weekend I was home was the YSA Conference in Orlando. I wasn't too excited about it but once I heard a few thousand people were going to be there, I was in. We got a hotel room and it was actually lots of fun!! I seriouslyyyy slacked when it came to picture taking but the weekend was great, even if I don't have several photos to prove it! I even danced with a random guy and we figured out his cousin is married to my cousin! Small freaking world. There were two dances, lots of classes (and skipping them to get coldstone..some things never change), socializing, longgg food lines, a luau, "late night pool parties" (hah), 1 am iHop run w/ Zach, Vannah and Kasey and church on Sunday! Naturally, we didn't take pics til the very end so that's why we're all dressed up. Procrastination status at its finest. And iPhone pictures too. Top quality, only the best :)

That night (my last night in Florida) my dad drove up to Tampa from Ft. Myers to take me & Vannah to dinner! Olive Garden it was and obviouslyyyy shakes afterward. So glad I got to see him!

I spent the next day at the doctors office (BOO) and flew back to good ole Utah that night. Trips home are always the best and I am SO grateful I got to go. See ya soon Florida.

*notice: I actually finished blogging an entire vacation. Usually I get too behind and then figure "oh,forget it" so yeah, i'm proud. ok, end of notice :)

xoxo,

Linds

"I'm on top of it!!!!"

One of my favorite days in Florida was when me, Savannah, Taylor and Sam made the hour drive north up to Homosassa to swim with the manatees in Crystal River. Despite there not being any coffee, donuts or muffins waiting for us at the place (much to Taylor's dismay) it was a great day. One of the best.

It was determined that wetsuits either look reeealllyyy good or terribly bad on people. There is no "just okay." I'll let you be the judge.

"look at each other and smile, it'll be cute. trust me."- Sam. debatable Samantha, debatable...

After we spent the morning/afternoon with the manatees, we were starving and asked Captain Steve where the best place in town for lunch was. His suggestion led us to some back roads and eventually a tiny place in the middle of nowhere, located on the marina and only accepted cash. We weren't sure of the legality of this place, but it was AMAZING. Best shrimp. Hands down.

xoxo,

Linds