Adventurous Soul

Lately, I've been craving an adventure. A new environment, a new culture and the thrill of no destination, just the journey that takes me there.

I want to be outdoors. I want to travel, to hike and to explore an exciting area. I want to meet people from all walks of life. I want to not worry about myself and my own problems but focus that attention on serving others. I want to share the love I have in my heart with those who need it most.

I find myself researching volunteer opportunities in orphanages in Africa, teaching excursions in Thailand and other various projects and sights around the world farrrr too often. I yearn for this type of life. I know that once I do settle down, get married and begin raising a family, these dreams will be much more difficult to turn into a reality. Why am I letting school keep me from doing what I so strongly desire?? That is where my heart is. Not in a classroom.

I can start here. And I'm determined to. Idaho truly is a beautiful place that has a lot to offer and I need to recognize what is right here, in my own backyard. Who's down to go explore the Grand Tetons? Camping in Yellowstone? The Ice Caves? Or hey...road trip anyone? I have always wanted to just drive down to Mexico. Cross the border. Could be fun. Either way, adventures await..and I intend on seeking after them.

Miss Matchin' in the Burg

Love this girl SO much and love that she came up to visit this past weekend. Thinking about those who I grew up with and seeing them is always exactly what I need. It's the perfect cure for getting over anything. When you know everything about a person, things don't even need to be said and the other knows exactly what to say. Or what not to say. I am perfectly content just sitting at home and talking or going out and being crazy. It's always fun, no matter what we're doing..as long as we're together. The girls I grew up with are and forever will be my very best friends. 

"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow." 

I love that and couldn't say it better myself. So, so, soo grateful for the friends I have made in this life. As cliche as it sounds, I have forever friends and I need to always remind myself of that. We've all gone our separate ways, we have different dreams and ambitions and are doing different things in our lives. However, we are all always in constant communication and understanding. I couldn't be more proud of these special people. I look up to them in awe and love bragging about them to others.

Wow, wasn't planning on going on this little tangent about my friends..I couldn't help it. I'm sure I'm bias, but I really lucked out. They are "my people" (Grey's Anatomy reference for the win). Anyway, for journaling purposes..Lauren came and the weather was terrible! Such a bummer. We made the most of it though and enjoyed our time together. We braved the cold temps and jumped off monkey rock, hit up Costa Vida, Sammy's and Cocoa Bean (our life revolves around food. so what?), went on a tour of BYUI, saw the Great Gatsby, went bowling, watched Grey's, attended church, experimented in the kitchen, and had a photo shoot of ourselves. Obviously. Most of all, I'm just SO glad she could come up. Love you forevaaa Miss. Match!

Stripes & polka dots. Black & white. That's how we roll. #missmatching #always.

xoxo

Linds

Summer Tease

Here I am, fulfilling my promise to blog more.

A couple weekends ago I went down to Provo. (I feel like I only blog when I go down to Utah...trend?)

Vannah came to town, Miss. Kelsie graduated from BYU, Stone played in several baseball games and it was a weekend of celebration. 

I hadn't seen Van since Christmas and we all hadn't been together in like a year and a half. WAY too long! A sweet reunion occurred, driving all around town to just end up getting a pizza, a stripes photo shoot, staying up late talking/laughing, cheering on Kels as she walked across that stage, a yummy lunch at Olive Garden with the Thompsons, UVU baseball game, ihop at night (does anyone ever go there during actual breakfast hours? ps their banana & brown sugar oatmeal is the bomb), kneaders for brunch, more baseball, quality time with my best friend, drive around downtown slc, red iguana for a late dinner, church with the sibs, family sunday bbq, go kart rides around the block on a warm summer night and thennnnn sadly, it was back to Rexburg for me. Such a Summer tease...a summer that I won't begin to enjoy until August. Ugh.

Things I Hate

So much for a positive title, right??

I'm trying so, so hard to take the advice to "start each day with an enthusiastic outlook, no matter how it looks or how difficult it seems." I have it written on a notecard on my nightstand, along with some other motivational quotes. I read them every night and day. But they aren't helping. It's not easy. I wish it were, but it's really not.

I know this is probably not helpful but I need a place to just vent. And this is my blog and only like 2 people read it (if that)..so I'm warning you now. This is going to be depressing and you most likely don't care (trust me, I'm not offended that you don't). So you can just stop now, if you don't want to hear my pathetic rants...

But I want to be real. And honest. Honest with myself, mostly.

I lie. Not to others..but to myself. I've concluded that I can't take the truth and justify every action and judgement. Most of us do it, I'm sure of that. We are our own worst critic. It's easy to see the good in others but not in ourselves.

So, the list:

1. I hate that boys..or any person in general, really can determine my happiness. It's a sad truth. He texts me or says something endearing? I'm giddy and hopeful. But then no signs of anything ever happening and I'm in a grumpy, depressed mood. Currently trying to get over that.

2. I hate that I have to go to school during the Summer. Seriously, BYU Idaho? Your track system is stupid and I really, realllyyy don't want to be here right now. I don't know where I want to be, but I know I don't want to be here.

3. I hate that I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. All of my friends are either getting married or serving missions. Which is awesome, don't get me wrong. I just feel like I'm going nowhere. The friends I did have in Rexburg are married now and loneliness is getting the best of me.  

4. I hate my body. I lack confidence and despise 99% of pictures of me. Nothing is working. 

5. I hate that boys do not like me. I'm positive this has to do with #4.

6. I hate that it's warm outside and people are doing fun things like bridge jumping, going to the lake, etc. and I have to think of excuses because I'm too insecure in a swimsuit. Swimming tomorrow night? No, thank you..

7. I hate that I am tired all the time. My classes this semester are tough yet I cannot find the motivation nor the desire to excel. I'm over it.

8. I hate that I can't make decisions.

9.  I hate that even though I said I'm being "honest", there's just some things that I cannot write here.

Let's face it. I'm struggling. I'm in academic rut. A spiritual rut. A "friend" rut. To be completely honest, all I want to do is lie in bed and sleep. I'm not progressing.

Wow, this is a terribly depressing post. I'm sorry for being annoying and complaining. You didn't have to read though... don't say I didn't warn you!

Happy Thursday, y'all. Here's to hoping tomorrow will be better.

xoxo

linds

On a lighter note, here's some love for your ears..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I9X5P6H5h9U