an attitude of gratitude

Wow. As I was blog stalking (sounds so much worse than it is), I saw this was posted on a girl's blog. No words, just the quote..and it really hit home. If this were true, today I would have nothing. In my defense, I fell asleep watching tv and then stumbled to bed..but still, there are too many nights that I forget, or quite frankly don't say my bedtime prayers. This has always been a struggle for me, and is something I continually strive to be better at. I needed this little thought-provoking question to linger in my mind tonight. Honestly, it made me feel guilty, for I owe everything I have to my Heavenly Father and I need to sincerely thank him for everything I've been blessed with. With that being said, I loveeee this time of year. Not just because it's getting colder outside every day, but because of the emphasis on gratitude. I love the meaning of Thanksgiving, and that it's a specific day set aside to recognize what you're thankful for. Therefore...

Today, I'm grateful for:

-the standards my church has set for me to follow. they have truly enabled me to live a blessed life.

-the conditions I live in. I have a beautiful house, loving parents, food on the table, more stuff than I need, etc. not everyone can say that.

-the friends that I had growing up. they are the ones who helped shape me to be the person I am today. I miss them a lot and wonder if I'll ever make friends again that mean so much to me.

-daylight savings, or fall back. whatever it's called. I can't begin to express my joy. I love that it gets dark earlier, because that just means it's closer to Christmas! (yes, I associate darker evenings with Christmas..don't ask me why.) and the extra hour of sleep for 10 o'clock church tomorrow is an added bonus!

-my blowdryer. everyone knows I hate showering in the morning (it cuts into my sleep time, which is very precious to me. duh), but it is muchhhh too cold to shower at night and then sleep with wet hair. what did people do back in the day without blowdryers?? I could never survive.

-a healthy body, that allows me to do things others so wish they could

-my brother and his wife. I can feel their love, even though I live so far away. I absolutely love it when one of them calls just to talk.

-to live in America. simple as that. I think about that often though..how lucky am I to be born in this great nation where my freedoms are protected, when sooooo many others' are not?

I have so much to be thankful for, and I wish I took the time to reflect on those daily. I remember, while in Tonga doing humanitarian work two summers ago, every night our group would gather together and everyone would say something they were grateful for that day. It could be anything, but we all had to share something we were thankful for. It was an eye-opening experience. Even though I knew I had sooooo much to be grateful for, sometimes it was hard to think of something to say. It made me start to really notice the small things in life, like a loud rainstorm, or the random person who smiled at me, or having safe & clean water to drink at home, etc. that truly made me happy. When I got home, I continued to keep a "gratitude journal" and wrote something down each night. However, like all my journals, this one didn't last too long. I regret not keeping up with it..it would be so humbling to have 2 years, or 730 days worth of journal entries, having written something I'm grateful for everyday. I like to think God knows the desires and pleadings of our hearts, and even if I don't necessarily write it down, He knows what I'm thankful for. But still, taking the time to reflect on your day and taking note of the little things in life that mean something can be a huge blessing in disguise. Speaking of, I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to spend my time and serve the people in Tonga. It was a great experience and I will never forget the lessons I learned and took home with me.

July 2009..crazy to think four of these people are currently spending two years serving missions for the church, and two of them are speaking Tongan. I truly don't think that is just a coincidence...

On another note, I feel like I talk about my "old life" way too much, and complain how I'm in a "limbo" stage right now, just waiting for my life to start. It's sad, really. I dwell too much, and I really need to start living my life today. I'm constantly thinking about how things will be different when I go back to school, I'll make friends, have things to do and will love my life THEN. But why not now?? I guard myself from disappointment and suffering too often, that I don't allow myself to have fun now. I think subconsciously, I don't want to make friends because I know I'll be leaving soon. Not only college, but I'm constantly telling myself how much happier I'll be when I'm done with school and have a real career, or when I'm married, or when I have kids. I wish I could just be happy today. Believe me, it's something I'm really working on. I once heard a quote that said "the trick is to enjoy life. don't wish your days away waiting for better ones ahead." I agree with that 100% and my goal for the next two months is to embrace New Mexico with a better attitude. My life is what it is right now, and that's not going to change. So I might as well make the most of it, right? I've been trying, but I obviously haven't been trying hard enough. I want need to be happy. The loneliness, sorrow and anger I currently encompass is not doing me any good. I don't think I'll make it much longer if I continue living my life the way I am. Sooo wish me luck with my endeavor and this new "attitude of gratitude" that I sincerely need to possess.